1 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,894 Some people might think the moral of my story is. 2 00:00:50,645 --> 00:00:52,856 "In this fucked-up world, even a simpie thing... 3 00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:55,734 "like buying a six-pack, can be harmful to your health." 4 00:00:56,234 --> 00:00:58,111 But I don't know about that. 5 00:00:58,736 --> 00:01:01,156 What I do know is, instead of getting our beer... 6 00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:04,826 Joe and me got fucked-up terrorists sticking a video camera in our faces... 7 00:01:04,909 --> 00:01:06,911 for 36 days and 36 nights. 8 00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:11,499 What we didn't know was that everybody in America was watching. 9 00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:22,593 Hi there. Cliff Spab, as seen on TV. 10 00:01:23,177 --> 00:01:24,470 I'm Wendy Pfister. 11 00:01:26,264 --> 00:01:30,143 Welcome to our humble home. Come on in, take a seat. 12 00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:34,355 We got apple pie in the oven, and me and Joe are playing Crazy Eights. 13 00:01:34,438 --> 00:01:36,607 Hey, we can deal you in if you want. 14 00:01:37,316 --> 00:01:38,693 I like Go Fish. 15 00:01:39,819 --> 00:01:42,321 Wendy, what's for dinner? 16 00:01:44,907 --> 00:01:46,867 There's some Casa Blanca... 17 00:01:46,951 --> 00:01:50,663 red-hot bean and beef burritos... 18 00:01:51,497 --> 00:01:56,585 some Pringles, some cupcakes and a bag of gumnuts and... 19 00:01:58,212 --> 00:02:00,172 No, you ate the last bag of gumnuts. 20 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:02,591 No, I didn't. 21 00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:04,843 You ate the last bag of gumnuts. 22 00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:08,597 - No, I didn't, Joe! - All right, you two cut it out! 23 00:02:09,723 --> 00:02:12,935 You fucking bitch, you ate the last bag of fucking gumnuts! 24 00:02:13,018 --> 00:02:15,354 I'm sick of you calling me a fucking bitch! 25 00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,815 - Wendy! - I'm sick of it! 26 00:02:17,981 --> 00:02:21,610 - Let the dog in. Joe, take out the trash! - Fuck the dog! Fuck the trash! 27 00:02:21,652 --> 00:02:25,113 No more backtalk from you, young man, or you can forget dessert! 28 00:02:26,615 --> 00:02:27,825 Jesus Christ! 29 00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:32,704 When I was a young boy, I wouldn't even think of talking the way you kids do. 30 00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:34,623 This is my house. 31 00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:39,670 Since when is this your house? 32 00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:42,714 This just isn't my house, it's my own fucking country! 33 00:02:44,508 --> 00:02:48,428 - I think I want an exit visa. - Yeah, so fucking what, Wendy? 34 00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:03,985 I'm sorry. 35 00:03:05,945 --> 00:03:07,113 Wendy. 36 00:03:12,702 --> 00:03:13,620 Spab. 37 00:03:24,005 --> 00:03:26,424 Hey, Wendy, Spab? 38 00:03:29,552 --> 00:03:31,179 How about another beer? 39 00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:52,158 - That's the last one, Joe. - We'll just have to get some more, then. 40 00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:55,786 No, I mean really, that's the last one. 41 00:03:59,081 --> 00:04:00,082 Fuck. 42 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,210 Guess it's showtime! How you boys doing? 43 00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:06,422 How are they ever doing? 44 00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:09,592 Get that fucking camera off me! Get the fuck off! 45 00:04:09,675 --> 00:04:12,094 Yeah, get it over here, man, right here! 46 00:04:12,136 --> 00:04:15,222 I got a treat for you boys. This is for the folks back home! 47 00:04:15,306 --> 00:04:18,976 You ready to see my really photogenic side? Well, here it is. 48 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,313 Give me the gun! Motherfucker! 49 00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,595 The Fun Stop hostage crisis is over. 50 00:07:02,262 --> 00:07:05,641 For 36 days, American television was forced to broadcast... 51 00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:08,769 uncensored video tapes of five individuals... 52 00:07:08,852 --> 00:07:10,979 held by a terrorist group, Split Image. 53 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:15,484 If the uncensored tapes weren't aired, all five hostages would die. 54 00:07:15,817 --> 00:07:17,778 A threat Split Image made good... 55 00:07:17,819 --> 00:07:21,448 with the brutal killings of Kim Martin and Milt Morris. 56 00:07:22,199 --> 00:07:24,868 And so, every night on prime-time television... 57 00:07:25,035 --> 00:07:28,121 we watched with agonized fascination as the hostages... 58 00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:33,043 five ordinary Americans, were transformed from convenience-store shoppers... 59 00:07:33,168 --> 00:07:34,794 into national heroes. 60 00:07:34,961 --> 00:07:38,840 What the ultimate goal of Split Image was, we may never know. 61 00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:41,509 Any further insight may have to await the recovery... 62 00:07:41,593 --> 00:07:44,929 of the young man we came to know so well, Cliff Spab. 63 00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:49,768 At this moment, young Mr. Spab is in a tightly guarded hospital room... 64 00:07:49,809 --> 00:07:53,521 recovering from the bullet wound he suffered while risking his own life... 65 00:07:53,605 --> 00:07:57,066 to save the only other surviving hostage, Wendy Pfister. 66 00:07:57,650 --> 00:08:00,987 We hope to have Cliff as our guest as soon as his health permits. 67 00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:20,840 - How are you, Cliff? - How the hell does he look? 68 00:08:20,882 --> 00:08:25,219 - You think you're up to a press conference? - The President wants to give you a medal. 69 00:08:25,887 --> 00:08:28,139 - We're talking big time. - At the White House. 70 00:08:28,181 --> 00:08:31,058 - Yes sir, we finally hit the jackpot! - In the Rose Garden. 71 00:08:31,142 --> 00:08:34,312 Look, all that stuff I said about you being a loser? Forget it. 72 00:08:34,353 --> 00:08:37,440 Your father has something very exciting he wants to tell you. 73 00:08:37,523 --> 00:08:40,943 - Go ahead, Bob, tell him. - It's just that your mom and- 74 00:08:41,027 --> 00:08:44,071 - Just spit it out! - They're making a TV movie all about you. 75 00:08:44,155 --> 00:08:46,490 The Cliff Spab Story, just the way it happened. 76 00:08:46,532 --> 00:08:50,286 Actually, they're making three TV movies. Our version is the authorized one. 77 00:08:50,369 --> 00:08:52,413 The real McCoy. And check this out. 78 00:08:53,789 --> 00:08:55,082 I know how you feel. 79 00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:59,295 You don't have to talk if you don't want to. 80 00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:06,802 Sometimes it feels better to talk about it. 81 00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:13,642 Of course, sometimes, it feels better not to talk about it. 82 00:09:13,892 --> 00:09:14,977 Agent Parsley. 83 00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:17,271 FBI. 84 00:09:18,897 --> 00:09:22,609 You might have fooled the rest of the world, but you don't fool me. 85 00:09:23,694 --> 00:09:26,405 I'm betting you were in on this little stunt. 86 00:09:28,282 --> 00:09:32,494 You're nothing but a foul-mouthed, lazy... 87 00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:36,289 good-for-nothing, little prick hoodlum... 88 00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:39,084 and the world would best be rid of you. 89 00:09:39,251 --> 00:09:42,671 The dark side of the Pepsi Generation. That is you, all the way. 90 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,881 They're offering you $1 million. 91 00:09:44,923 --> 00:09:47,634 - We're talking seven figures. - That is a lot of money. 92 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,887 We loved the way you handled yourself on that TV special. 93 00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:53,974 - Very smooth. - He doesn't know about the TV special. 94 00:09:54,057 --> 00:09:57,811 - You don't know about the TV special? - You had your own TV special. 95 00:09:57,894 --> 00:10:00,397 Don't worry about it. You were sensational! 96 00:10:00,438 --> 00:10:03,942 The best! Highest TVQ ever. Better than a real star. 97 00:10:04,025 --> 00:10:06,736 The Cliff Spab Special. It got a 30 share. 98 00:10:07,195 --> 00:10:09,531 Even better than The Wendy Special. 99 00:10:10,406 --> 00:10:12,534 Ultimately, it's up to me. 100 00:10:12,617 --> 00:10:15,578 I haven't really found anybody... 101 00:10:17,121 --> 00:10:18,665 that can help me out. 102 00:10:20,124 --> 00:10:23,378 It's hard, because I don't think people really understand... 103 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:25,463 what I'm all about. 104 00:10:25,713 --> 00:10:29,258 You think they'll be a time when you will want to look to the future... 105 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:33,304 and you will want to see if things are gonna be brighter for you? 106 00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:37,016 I really don't know. 107 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:50,821 Hello. 108 00:10:55,618 --> 00:10:56,577 Hello? 109 00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:13,177 Don't touch me! 110 00:11:17,056 --> 00:11:20,100 What are you doing? Leave me alone! 111 00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:21,352 Help! 112 00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:25,773 Just take them. 113 00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,029 Fuck you, you fucking fuckheads! 114 00:11:43,916 --> 00:11:45,167 Hey, Clifford! 115 00:11:46,418 --> 00:11:48,337 - How you doing, guy? - Rocking! 116 00:11:49,004 --> 00:11:51,214 And there's more where that came from. 117 00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:53,508 - Best news I've had. - Let's get outta here. 118 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:58,388 I want you to call me if you need to talk. And, Cliff, watch your language. 119 00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:00,849 Who the hell is that? 120 00:12:00,932 --> 00:12:03,768 Beats the fuck out of me. Hey, Scott, great shirt. 121 00:12:15,947 --> 00:12:17,782 Have you spoken to Wendy? 122 00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:20,201 How is Wendy? 123 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,208 She took my beer. 124 00:12:28,293 --> 00:12:29,794 How are you feeling? 125 00:12:36,217 --> 00:12:37,385 How do you feel? 126 00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:40,054 I don't know. 127 00:12:43,808 --> 00:12:45,310 James, let's motor! 128 00:12:48,229 --> 00:12:51,107 Fuck! What's the deal man? What the fuck is going on here? 129 00:12:51,149 --> 00:12:52,316 Get used to it. 130 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,695 These assholes kept dogging us for weeks. You're a fucking hero. 131 00:12:55,778 --> 00:13:00,700 - What's that? Does it open up there? - Yeah, that's a fucking bar, man. 132 00:13:01,659 --> 00:13:04,120 - In-fucking-credible, baby! - Got your coffee. 133 00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,083 Clifford, there's gonna be some people back at the house. 134 00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,294 Some kind of reception shit. 135 00:13:12,795 --> 00:13:15,381 Limousine, primo beer. Can't beat it. 136 00:13:18,676 --> 00:13:22,930 Hey, Scott, let's go to the Boy. James? To the Boy! 137 00:13:27,977 --> 00:13:31,355 Hey, Spab, we just saw you on TV. You were great! 138 00:13:31,438 --> 00:13:34,149 - Really cool! - Stan, hi. 139 00:13:34,483 --> 00:13:37,278 Anything you guys want on the house, right? 140 00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:39,071 Check it out! 141 00:13:40,364 --> 00:13:42,032 No shit, 36 cents? 142 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,493 That's kind of cheap, Stan. 143 00:13:44,702 --> 00:13:47,329 It's symbolic. 36. 144 00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:49,832 Thirty-six days in the Fun Stop. 145 00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,127 Pretty fucking clever, Stan. 146 00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,214 I just came to pick up my paycheck. 147 00:13:58,131 --> 00:14:01,009 Sure thing, Cliff. I guess you were a little busy. 148 00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:06,890 Look, here. 149 00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:14,898 - Where's Joe, Stan? - You're Worker of The Month. 150 00:14:17,359 --> 00:14:20,153 I think Joe should be up here too, don't you? 151 00:14:20,237 --> 00:14:23,198 - Well, Joe's dead. - Come on, we gotta go, Cliff. 152 00:14:23,782 --> 00:14:25,700 Where the fuck is Joe, Stan? 153 00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:29,621 - You know he should fucking be up there. - No can do. 154 00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:33,583 Hey Stan, you still spitting in the burgers in this joint? 155 00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:37,212 Very funny. You were always a joker. Welcome back, Spab! 156 00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:48,389 I'm Wendy Pfister. I'm 17. 157 00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:54,687 I live in Ozell Park with my mom. 158 00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,359 And I go to Ozell Park High. 159 00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:08,951 I just want my wife to know... 160 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:11,120 I'm fine. 161 00:15:13,331 --> 00:15:15,583 These people don't frighten me. 162 00:15:17,168 --> 00:15:18,794 They are nothing. 163 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,554 My name is Kim Martin. 164 00:15:30,348 --> 00:15:34,518 I was working in this Fun Stop when these people rushed in. 165 00:15:36,604 --> 00:15:38,272 I live in Royal Oak. 166 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:44,236 I have a husband and a son. 167 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,822 If you can hear me... 168 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,909 I love you so much. 169 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:57,082 Just keep on praying that this will all be over really soon. 170 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,631 Get that fucking camera off me. 171 00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:13,599 Say something. 172 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,101 Get him the fuck outta here. 173 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,523 Hi, my name is Rick Forsythe. 174 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,944 I live in Silver Pond with my parents, George and Edna, and my sister, Suzanne. 175 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,281 I'm president of the debate team and captain of my baseball team... 176 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,574 at Silver Pond High. 177 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,117 I have a dog named Rusty. 178 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:35,454 My hobbies include coin collecting and dry-fucking cheerleaders. 179 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,336 He's here! 180 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,147 Come on, Cliff, I'll get you up here. Let's go! 181 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,902 On behalf of the city of Madison Heights, I proclaim today... 182 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,363 Cliff Spab Day! 183 00:17:56,617 --> 00:18:00,621 And I'm pleased as punch to present you with the key... 184 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,623 to our magnificent metropolis. 185 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,045 Who the fuck are you? 186 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,215 I'm the Mayor. 187 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:12,967 Right. 188 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,261 Thank you. It's a mighty big fucking key. 189 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:22,267 - Mr. Spab, have you seen Wendy Pfister? - No, I haven't. 190 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,645 Can you describe what led to your freedom? 191 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:25,687 I can't. 192 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,898 You saved her life. Do you love her? 193 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,442 That's none of your business, sweetheart, is it? 194 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,861 Any comment on the death of Joe Dice? 195 00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:39,910 Every one of you assholes get the fuck out of here now! 196 00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:46,541 Get these people off my goddamn porch. Jesus! 197 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,377 What do we got here? 198 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,799 Tomorrow morning you get your ass down to my office. 199 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:58,595 We're gonna have a little chat about your Split Image friends. 200 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:02,224 They weren't my friends. Get your fucking hands off me. 201 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,433 Back off, guy. 202 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,734 Cliff? Come in here. One, two, three. 203 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,195 Welcome home, Clifford! 204 00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:19,616 Cliff, your Aunt Jessica, Derrick and Sylvie drove in from upstate... 205 00:19:19,657 --> 00:19:22,660 and your Uncle Jerry and Cousin Dave took the bus. 206 00:19:22,702 --> 00:19:25,747 Right. Hey, there, how are you doing? 207 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:34,631 Clifford, honey, I cleaned your room. 208 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,970 - What the hell happened here? - Mom. 209 00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:45,183 Fuck this shit! Give me a beer, Scott. 210 00:19:46,684 --> 00:19:47,810 Oh, baby. 211 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,698 So what are you gonna do now? 212 00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:03,326 Sing a song. 213 00:20:03,951 --> 00:20:07,204 Fucker boy outside 214 00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:10,291 walking down the road 215 00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:13,794 Fucker boy outside 216 00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:17,006 walking down the road 217 00:20:17,173 --> 00:20:21,927 Fucker boy outside walking down 218 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:27,391 Walking down the road 219 00:20:29,852 --> 00:20:32,104 - That sucks, man. - Yeah, you're right. 220 00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:36,567 I've been craving this for so fucking long, man. 221 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:37,001 Turn that damn thing down! 222 00:21:43,174 --> 00:21:44,884 You guys out of your minds? 223 00:21:47,470 --> 00:21:48,471 Yeah. 224 00:21:49,389 --> 00:21:52,850 You're a real comedian, Cliff. I don't think this is very funny. 225 00:21:53,309 --> 00:21:54,227 I do. 226 00:21:54,435 --> 00:21:58,147 Now you listen to me. There's a lot of money at stake here. 227 00:21:58,398 --> 00:22:02,735 I don't care if you fuck up your own life, but don't fuck it up for your mom and me. 228 00:22:02,819 --> 00:22:05,780 She'll be really pissed when she sees what you've done here. 229 00:22:05,822 --> 00:22:09,117 I want to know one thing. Who invited the fucking marching band? 230 00:22:09,158 --> 00:22:10,451 Watch your mouth! 231 00:22:10,535 --> 00:22:13,829 Mom and I are embarrassed as hell about the language you used on TV. 232 00:22:13,913 --> 00:22:17,208 I bet you'd have been really embarrassed if they blew my head off. 233 00:22:17,667 --> 00:22:21,504 Yeah? You ain't leaving this house until you give a press conference. 234 00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:23,255 Okay, Dad. 235 00:22:23,422 --> 00:22:26,967 I think I know how to stay in confined areas for long periods of time. 236 00:22:27,510 --> 00:22:30,012 Shut up, Scott! You little twerp. 237 00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:33,724 A press conference will not kill you. 238 00:22:33,891 --> 00:22:37,895 Joe thought running into the Fun Stop to buy some beer wouldn't kill him either. 239 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,981 Don't fuck with me, Cliff. 240 00:22:44,151 --> 00:22:45,861 And clean up this fucking room. 241 00:22:49,365 --> 00:22:50,699 Home, sweet home. 242 00:22:52,284 --> 00:22:53,410 Hey, Wendy. 243 00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:55,079 Spab. 244 00:23:01,376 --> 00:23:03,170 Let's sing a duet, shall we? 245 00:23:08,759 --> 00:23:13,222 As long as we got each other 246 00:23:15,724 --> 00:23:20,729 We got the world spinnin' right in our hands 247 00:23:22,397 --> 00:23:24,483 Baby you and me 248 00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:27,861 we gotta be 249 00:23:29,488 --> 00:23:32,365 The luckiest dreamers 250 00:23:32,574 --> 00:23:35,076 who never quit dreamin' 251 00:23:36,411 --> 00:23:40,540 As long as we keep on givin' 252 00:23:42,918 --> 00:23:47,213 we can take anything that comes our way 253 00:23:48,256 --> 00:23:50,925 Baby, rain or shine 254 00:23:51,926 --> 00:23:53,887 all the time 255 00:23:55,180 --> 00:23:58,516 We got each other 256 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,186 Sharing the laughter and love 257 00:24:03,438 --> 00:24:04,522 Come here. 258 00:24:16,326 --> 00:24:17,910 I want to go home. 259 00:24:27,670 --> 00:24:30,965 - What's the deal? - What do you think the deal is, Spab? 260 00:24:31,132 --> 00:24:33,926 - Do you want to take a bath? - Fuck you, Spab. 261 00:24:34,010 --> 00:24:37,763 My brother's dead and all you can say is, "You want to take a bath?" 262 00:24:37,805 --> 00:24:39,807 Monica, I'm coming over. 263 00:24:40,599 --> 00:24:42,435 Spab, you asshole. 264 00:25:15,467 --> 00:25:17,636 I was 1 year old when Joe was born. 265 00:25:18,345 --> 00:25:22,683 And for the next 19 years, we lived next door to each other in Madison Heights. 266 00:25:23,183 --> 00:25:26,854 Went to the same schools, worked at the same goddamn Burger Boy. 267 00:25:28,021 --> 00:25:32,192 Spent countless hours drinking Bullseye and getting fucked up on cheap pot. 268 00:25:34,403 --> 00:25:35,904 And now Joe's dead. 269 00:25:37,656 --> 00:25:39,241 What a fucking waste. 270 00:25:54,047 --> 00:25:55,674 I've gone nuts, Monica. 271 00:25:57,259 --> 00:25:59,386 I thought it was crazy in there... 272 00:26:00,262 --> 00:26:01,596 but out here... 273 00:26:02,389 --> 00:26:04,015 it's fucking insane. 274 00:26:05,225 --> 00:26:06,726 Yeah, so? 275 00:26:07,894 --> 00:26:09,688 Fuck being drunk or stoned. 276 00:26:11,147 --> 00:26:13,358 In that goddamn store, we were nuts. 277 00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:15,026 Even Wendy? 278 00:26:16,236 --> 00:26:18,780 Yeah, even Wendy, she was nuts. 279 00:26:24,577 --> 00:26:26,120 So, did you fuck her? 280 00:26:26,746 --> 00:26:28,373 Who, Wendy? 281 00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:31,709 Wendy Pfister? 282 00:26:33,336 --> 00:26:36,714 I didn't even know the girl, you know, before all this shit went down. 283 00:26:37,298 --> 00:26:40,301 She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know. 284 00:26:40,384 --> 00:26:43,054 You're good, Spab, you're really good. 285 00:26:43,930 --> 00:26:47,558 I'd say I know you, but every now and then you leave me guessing. 286 00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:50,853 Did Joe fuck her? 287 00:26:51,854 --> 00:26:53,147 What do you think? 288 00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,154 You asshole, you like her, don't you? Christ, I can tell. 289 00:27:00,237 --> 00:27:04,200 What have you got against Wendy Pfister? I mean, she's a really nice girl. 290 00:27:06,368 --> 00:27:09,997 I don't know, maybe her little Miss Teen USA act. 291 00:27:10,289 --> 00:27:12,917 You can do what she does and get away with it... 292 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,461 and never feel guilty about it if you wanted to. 293 00:27:15,503 --> 00:27:17,463 Maybe, but who'd want to. 294 00:27:18,422 --> 00:27:20,716 Monica, you fucking taco, I know you. 295 00:27:24,511 --> 00:27:26,055 Take your bath, Spab. 296 00:27:37,107 --> 00:27:38,317 You need one. 297 00:28:24,696 --> 00:28:26,406 What's the deal, Monica? 298 00:28:28,283 --> 00:28:30,201 What do you think the deal is? 299 00:28:34,622 --> 00:28:36,207 All right, come on in. 300 00:28:49,971 --> 00:28:51,472 It's pretty pathetic. 301 00:28:53,891 --> 00:28:55,643 You ought to see my room. 302 00:28:56,477 --> 00:28:59,522 Fuck your room! You ain't dead. 303 00:29:05,486 --> 00:29:09,824 They forgot about Joe the minute they had you to honor, praise and interview. 304 00:29:11,284 --> 00:29:13,911 Yeah, like they won't forget about me. 305 00:29:16,163 --> 00:29:18,416 I'm not saying it's your fault, Spab. 306 00:29:20,376 --> 00:29:24,046 I'm just saying they were never all that interested in Joe anyway. 307 00:29:25,923 --> 00:29:29,301 Joe wasn't funny enough. Joe wasn't interesting enough. 308 00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:32,638 He never came up with all the good lines you did. 309 00:29:35,391 --> 00:29:36,934 Don't you get it? 310 00:29:40,187 --> 00:29:43,732 You were the guy that everybody wanted to know everything about. 311 00:29:44,692 --> 00:29:46,193 Not my brother. 312 00:29:47,111 --> 00:29:48,654 Well, fuck everybody. 313 00:29:49,071 --> 00:29:52,616 Tell them that, and it's just another fucking headline. 314 00:29:55,744 --> 00:29:57,246 God, I'm drunk. 315 00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:05,254 What time is it, anyway? 316 00:30:07,965 --> 00:30:09,466 I don't know. 1:30? 317 00:30:12,469 --> 00:30:13,929 God, I'm sorry. 318 00:30:16,306 --> 00:30:17,808 Don't be sorry. 319 00:30:19,643 --> 00:30:22,312 I've been drunk since May 2. It's no big deal. 320 00:30:22,395 --> 00:30:23,480 Yeah. 321 00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:26,399 But you know me. I'm usually in control. 322 00:30:39,746 --> 00:30:40,955 Monica? 323 00:30:45,335 --> 00:30:46,711 What's the deal? 324 00:30:47,337 --> 00:30:48,505 Jesus, Spab! 325 00:30:49,255 --> 00:30:50,757 You fucking asshole. 326 00:32:32,941 --> 00:32:34,693 How long are you gonna be gone? 327 00:32:34,776 --> 00:32:36,737 Well, you know me, honey. 328 00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:38,989 Rocking and rolling... 329 00:32:39,072 --> 00:32:41,032 taking care of business, sweet thing. 330 00:32:41,116 --> 00:32:44,452 Yep, I know what you mean. Running with life, your back to the winds. 331 00:32:44,536 --> 00:32:46,830 Yeah, you know what I'm saying. 332 00:32:47,497 --> 00:32:50,083 And don't call me "sweet thing," you fucking asshole. 333 00:33:05,181 --> 00:33:07,851 - Thanks for the lift. - Is that what you call it? 334 00:33:13,398 --> 00:33:15,692 Here, this might help out some. 335 00:33:17,193 --> 00:33:18,736 You didn't have to do that. 336 00:33:18,820 --> 00:33:21,489 Ever heard of Friends of the Hostages? 337 00:33:21,572 --> 00:33:25,118 People we don't even know have been sending us money for weeks now. 338 00:33:25,201 --> 00:33:26,744 Call if you want more. 339 00:33:26,828 --> 00:33:29,330 What if I don't want more, but I want to call? 340 00:33:29,372 --> 00:33:31,999 Like I said, call if you want more. 341 00:33:35,378 --> 00:33:37,171 Good luck being nobody! 342 00:33:53,896 --> 00:33:55,606 Holy shit, man, it's Spab! 343 00:33:57,692 --> 00:34:01,195 Hey, Spab, I'm not a fuckup. I just play one in real life. 344 00:34:02,530 --> 00:34:04,657 Hey, what's the deal, guys? 345 00:34:04,698 --> 00:34:06,784 Hey, you want to puff this fatty, man? 346 00:34:07,535 --> 00:34:08,744 Thank you, boys. 347 00:34:09,537 --> 00:34:12,164 Fucking Spab, fucking psychedelic! 348 00:34:12,206 --> 00:34:15,251 I'm Al, this is Johnny! 349 00:34:15,376 --> 00:34:16,418 Cliff. 350 00:34:17,127 --> 00:34:19,213 You look fatter on TV, man. 351 00:34:20,089 --> 00:34:23,217 I can't believe I'm standing here, talking to Cliff Spab! 352 00:34:23,384 --> 00:34:24,677 Ask him something! 353 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,011 Like what, man? 354 00:34:26,095 --> 00:34:27,971 I don't know, ask him about his arm. 355 00:34:28,055 --> 00:34:31,433 - What happened to his arm? - He got shot, you dufus. 356 00:34:31,517 --> 00:34:33,227 Fuck! In the arm? 357 00:34:33,310 --> 00:34:34,895 No, in the shoulder, man. 358 00:34:34,978 --> 00:34:37,314 - Well, did it hurt? - Yeah, it fucking hurt. 359 00:34:37,731 --> 00:34:39,816 Man, that must've sucked. 360 00:34:41,193 --> 00:34:42,903 So, how's Joe, man? 361 00:34:46,031 --> 00:34:48,075 - Fuck, I forgot. - I'm sorry. 362 00:34:48,158 --> 00:34:50,702 God, Joe's dead! 363 00:34:51,703 --> 00:34:52,788 I'm sorry. 364 00:34:52,871 --> 00:34:54,539 It's all right, man. 365 00:35:04,925 --> 00:35:06,509 Well, that's my ride. 366 00:35:07,636 --> 00:35:09,221 Where you going? 367 00:35:11,139 --> 00:35:13,892 If it isn't Rick fucking Forsythe. 368 00:35:14,392 --> 00:35:16,728 Hey, Morrow, you fucking asshole. 369 00:35:16,811 --> 00:35:18,855 How's the cheerleaders, Rick? 370 00:35:18,938 --> 00:35:20,815 Hey, Spab, you coming back? 371 00:35:21,274 --> 00:35:22,442 Never. 372 00:35:23,485 --> 00:35:25,612 Kids today, let me tell you. 373 00:35:27,614 --> 00:35:28,615 Onward! 374 00:35:41,085 --> 00:35:43,546 Shit, that was Spab. 375 00:35:43,629 --> 00:35:46,341 Shit, man, he took our joint! 376 00:35:47,717 --> 00:35:49,218 You have our joint! 377 00:35:51,095 --> 00:35:54,098 I rolled it myself! 378 00:36:04,609 --> 00:36:06,235 Who was that, your fan club? 379 00:36:06,319 --> 00:36:09,113 That was Joe and me three years ago. 380 00:36:09,155 --> 00:36:11,657 So how does it feel to be famous? 381 00:36:12,825 --> 00:36:15,327 It feels angry, man. 382 00:36:17,872 --> 00:36:21,125 The curiosity about Cliff Spab throughout the country... 383 00:36:21,208 --> 00:36:24,295 has been overwhelming. He's now bordering on cult status. 384 00:36:24,378 --> 00:36:28,549 - Hang on. Yes, ma'am, right here. - What's Cliff Spab really like? 385 00:36:29,550 --> 00:36:31,385 Exactly like he was on those tapes. 386 00:36:31,927 --> 00:36:35,639 Reality programming gives reality a bad fucking name. 387 00:36:35,681 --> 00:36:36,890 What do you think? 388 00:36:36,974 --> 00:36:40,686 He's a lazy, foul-mouthed, uneducated drug addict. 389 00:36:43,731 --> 00:36:45,274 This guy's funny. 390 00:36:45,357 --> 00:36:48,444 Wendy, you met Cliff Spab at the Fun Stop. 391 00:36:48,986 --> 00:36:50,946 He's from working-class Madison Heights. 392 00:36:51,029 --> 00:36:53,949 You're from the wealthy suburb of Ozell Park. 393 00:36:54,199 --> 00:36:57,911 Bottom line. ' you and Cliff are very different people, aren't you? 394 00:36:57,995 --> 00:36:59,454 In what ways? 395 00:37:00,205 --> 00:37:01,915 I don't think we're that different. 396 00:37:02,791 --> 00:37:04,418 Wendy looks good! 397 00:37:05,711 --> 00:37:07,045 I'd do her. 398 00:37:07,212 --> 00:37:09,631 But you're perceived differently. 399 00:37:09,798 --> 00:37:12,676 That's what this is all about anyway, isn't it? 400 00:37:12,718 --> 00:37:14,136 Perceptions. 401 00:37:14,886 --> 00:37:17,180 I don't think people know Spab or me. 402 00:37:17,264 --> 00:37:18,765 Did you fuck her? 403 00:37:18,849 --> 00:37:21,935 - With the handcuffs and everything. - All right, shut up, Morrow. 404 00:37:22,018 --> 00:37:24,729 They may think they know us, but they don't know us at all. 405 00:37:24,813 --> 00:37:27,524 Okay Wendy, I gotta ask you this: 406 00:37:27,607 --> 00:37:29,526 Where is Cliff Spab? 407 00:37:29,567 --> 00:37:31,653 I know! Here! 408 00:37:31,736 --> 00:37:35,031 Indeed, all of America is wondering where is Cliff Spab? 409 00:37:35,115 --> 00:37:39,160 Where can he be? Is he on the road, or has foul play befallen him? 410 00:37:41,913 --> 00:37:43,498 Hang on. 411 00:37:44,290 --> 00:37:48,545 If I was Wendy, and I knew where Spab is, I would never tell anybody. 412 00:37:57,762 --> 00:38:00,932 Initially no network would air the hostage tapes. 413 00:38:01,265 --> 00:38:05,728 But after the cold-blooded executions of hostages Kim Martin and Milt Morris... 414 00:38:05,812 --> 00:38:09,774 the networks had no choice. And all over the world, every night... 415 00:38:09,857 --> 00:38:13,653 Cliff Spab and Wendy Pfister became part of our lives. 416 00:38:13,861 --> 00:38:18,199 Thursday, June 17. Viewer discretion is advised. 417 00:38:24,163 --> 00:38:27,208 Will you cut it out. I can't take it anymore! 418 00:38:27,291 --> 00:38:28,584 All right, listen up. 419 00:38:30,753 --> 00:38:33,798 There's been some developments. We're gonna let one of you go. 420 00:38:33,881 --> 00:38:36,300 All right! I just want to say, on my own behalf... 421 00:38:36,383 --> 00:38:38,677 how great it's been hanging out with you guys. 422 00:38:38,761 --> 00:38:40,596 Who wants to let this guy go? 423 00:38:40,679 --> 00:38:41,889 Sit down... 424 00:38:41,972 --> 00:38:43,641 Watch the language! 425 00:38:45,976 --> 00:38:47,436 Why don't you let her go? 426 00:38:47,478 --> 00:38:49,104 How many for her? 427 00:38:49,313 --> 00:38:51,273 Get her out of here, man. 428 00:38:52,024 --> 00:38:53,525 Oh, thank God! 429 00:38:54,902 --> 00:38:56,236 I'll pray for you. 430 00:38:57,738 --> 00:38:59,948 I'll pray for all of you guys. 431 00:39:02,451 --> 00:39:06,830 Yeah, we're gonna miss you, Kim! It ain't gonna be the same without you! 432 00:39:46,828 --> 00:39:48,913 Let's get out of here, man. 433 00:39:53,293 --> 00:39:54,669 Crestridge? 434 00:39:54,878 --> 00:39:58,506 What are you taking me here for, man? I don't want to see anybody. 435 00:40:02,802 --> 00:40:05,680 Don't worry, guy, your 15 minutes are almost up. 436 00:40:21,654 --> 00:40:23,614 Morrow, what's the deal? 437 00:40:25,116 --> 00:40:26,534 What's the deal? 438 00:40:29,579 --> 00:40:31,247 You mean, what am I sure of? 439 00:40:32,707 --> 00:40:36,168 The one thing I'm sure of is that everything is unsure. 440 00:42:16,643 --> 00:42:17,894 Fuck you! 441 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:25,818 What's the point of saying anything? 442 00:42:28,863 --> 00:42:32,367 You know how it is, man. It's the same old fucking shit. 443 00:42:34,661 --> 00:42:35,745 So... 444 00:42:38,039 --> 00:42:40,750 I'm stuck in this Fun Stop. 445 00:42:49,008 --> 00:42:50,593 So fucking what? 446 00:42:54,180 --> 00:42:56,015 And I'm bored as shit. 447 00:42:58,976 --> 00:43:00,561 So fucking what? 448 00:43:03,064 --> 00:43:05,524 So I don't know what the fuck's going on? 449 00:43:06,525 --> 00:43:08,110 So fucking what? 450 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,240 So I might die in here. 451 00:43:21,582 --> 00:43:23,167 So fucking what? 452 00:43:26,253 --> 00:43:29,256 So I haven't had a decent shower and food... 453 00:43:29,882 --> 00:43:31,842 in way too fucking long. 454 00:43:34,345 --> 00:43:35,971 So fucking what? 455 00:43:38,307 --> 00:43:40,058 How is this different... 456 00:43:42,102 --> 00:43:44,396 from anything else that's happened in my life? 457 00:43:46,398 --> 00:43:50,235 I mean, God, when I was in high school, fucking up big time... 458 00:43:51,445 --> 00:43:54,072 everybody was always giving me shit. 459 00:43:56,700 --> 00:43:59,286 All I ever said was, "So fucking what?" 460 00:44:01,955 --> 00:44:04,624 When I was at the Boy, the goddamn Boy... 461 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:08,670 making minimum after working there for three years, man... 462 00:44:12,090 --> 00:44:14,676 all I ever said was, "So fucking what?" 463 00:44:16,344 --> 00:44:17,804 Jesus Christ! 464 00:44:20,098 --> 00:44:21,766 That's all you gotta do, man. 465 00:44:24,311 --> 00:44:27,605 It's all everybody's gotta do, is just say, "So fucking what?" 466 00:44:30,066 --> 00:44:31,693 It works wonders. 467 00:44:33,319 --> 00:44:34,571 Trust me. 468 00:44:35,864 --> 00:44:37,073 I know. 469 00:44:46,958 --> 00:44:48,459 So go ahead. 470 00:44:49,836 --> 00:44:51,504 Go ahead, Mr. Cameraman. 471 00:44:51,587 --> 00:44:53,464 Everybody out there... 472 00:44:54,674 --> 00:44:57,093 say it along with me. ' "So fucking what?" 473 00:44:57,176 --> 00:45:00,513 You must think you're real fucking funny, don't you? 474 00:45:00,596 --> 00:45:02,640 - What are you doing, Morrow? - Just wait. 475 00:45:02,723 --> 00:45:05,476 - Wait for me in the car! - I don't want to wait for you. 476 00:45:05,518 --> 00:45:07,645 Wait for me in the... Get outta here! 477 00:45:07,728 --> 00:45:10,481 Do me a favor? Would you hold onto this for me? 478 00:45:10,523 --> 00:45:12,400 What the fuck are you doing, man? 479 00:45:12,483 --> 00:45:14,860 You think that guy broke your fucking window? 480 00:45:14,944 --> 00:45:17,530 So you take his gun? What are you, a fucking idiot? 481 00:45:17,613 --> 00:45:18,614 Fuck you! 482 00:45:18,698 --> 00:45:20,992 What do you mean "fuck you"? Fuck you, man. 483 00:45:24,829 --> 00:45:27,415 Just because you're a big, fucking hero... 484 00:45:27,498 --> 00:45:30,167 does not mean you know jack shit about the real world. 485 00:45:30,251 --> 00:45:31,502 - You know what? - What? 486 00:45:31,585 --> 00:45:35,339 Take me to the bus depot, and don't be laughing at me, you prick! 487 00:45:35,422 --> 00:45:37,883 We interrupt to bring you a special news bulletin. 488 00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:40,427 Reports are in that Cliff Spab has been sighted... 489 00:45:40,511 --> 00:45:42,680 at the Crestridge Mall in Madison Heights. 490 00:45:42,721 --> 00:45:45,766 According to FBI agent, Gerald Parsley, the hunt for Spab... 491 00:45:45,849 --> 00:45:49,645 is being confined to Madison Heights. Agent Parsley had this to say. ' 492 00:45:49,728 --> 00:45:52,523 Mr. Spab is being sought for questioning. 493 00:45:52,898 --> 00:45:56,819 We believe he has been, and still is, involved with certain subversive activities. 494 00:45:56,902 --> 00:45:58,362 This fucking guy! 495 00:45:58,404 --> 00:46:00,697 We know he has not left the immediate area... 496 00:46:00,781 --> 00:46:04,701 and a search of his most likely destinations is now in progress. 497 00:46:04,743 --> 00:46:07,037 Cliff, this is your mother. 498 00:46:07,579 --> 00:46:10,207 We want you to come home. We love you. 499 00:46:10,916 --> 00:46:12,042 Fuck! 500 00:46:16,254 --> 00:46:17,464 Sandy! 501 00:46:23,261 --> 00:46:24,721 Come check this out. 502 00:46:28,517 --> 00:46:30,268 Sandy's drunk again! 503 00:46:30,769 --> 00:46:32,395 Goddamn it, I hate that shit! 504 00:46:33,146 --> 00:46:35,690 Come here. Help me take her to the bathroom. 505 00:46:35,774 --> 00:46:37,067 Grab her legs. 506 00:46:39,986 --> 00:46:42,238 Let's get the fuck out of here, all right? 507 00:46:44,115 --> 00:46:46,826 Come on, just help me take her to the bathroom. 508 00:46:47,452 --> 00:46:48,661 Sandy 509 00:46:49,788 --> 00:46:52,415 how I love you, Sandy 510 00:46:56,085 --> 00:46:57,837 Rise and shine, darling. 511 00:46:59,047 --> 00:47:00,256 Oh, God. 512 00:47:00,423 --> 00:47:02,258 No, it's Morrow, honey. 513 00:47:02,300 --> 00:47:05,094 Get your fucking hands off of me. And who's that? 514 00:47:06,054 --> 00:47:07,096 Him? 515 00:47:07,347 --> 00:47:08,598 He's Fred Nietzsche. 516 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,099 Get your hands off of me! 517 00:47:10,141 --> 00:47:12,518 You gotta be careful, a woman in your condition. 518 00:47:12,602 --> 00:47:14,187 Fuck you, Morrow! 519 00:47:29,285 --> 00:47:32,538 Mrs. Pfister, I really need to talk to Wendy, okay? 520 00:47:33,456 --> 00:47:36,417 Cliff, look, I realize you've both been through a lot... 521 00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:40,588 but I don't think it's a good idea for you and Wendy to see each other anymore. 522 00:47:40,671 --> 00:47:42,506 I've told Wendy this, too. 523 00:47:46,886 --> 00:47:48,053 Hello? 524 00:47:48,345 --> 00:47:49,805 Mrs. Pfister? 525 00:47:50,431 --> 00:47:51,974 I'm sorry, Cliff. 526 00:48:00,024 --> 00:48:04,153 Hey, Cliff, bring us another bottle of that shit champagne! 527 00:48:31,471 --> 00:48:34,933 - Hey, guy, listen to this. - Do I have to? 528 00:48:35,309 --> 00:48:37,936 Suppose, instead of going to the local Fun Stop... 529 00:48:38,020 --> 00:48:40,355 with your two best friends to buy some beer... 530 00:48:40,397 --> 00:48:43,233 you go out with a woman named Sandy Hooten. 531 00:48:44,067 --> 00:48:45,694 Yeah, I remember. 532 00:48:46,361 --> 00:48:49,364 Suppose, while your two best friends are being taken hostage... 533 00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:53,702 by some insane freaks, you make love to the aforementioned Sandy Hooten... 534 00:48:53,785 --> 00:48:55,704 who tells you she's on the pill... 535 00:48:55,787 --> 00:48:58,331 so you don't have to use a latex prophylactic device. 536 00:48:58,415 --> 00:49:01,042 - Morrow, shut up. - Yeah, please, Morrow- 537 00:49:01,126 --> 00:49:04,045 And further suppose, after a few weeks go by... 538 00:49:04,129 --> 00:49:06,840 the aforementioned, Sandy Hooten returns... 539 00:49:19,060 --> 00:49:20,520 It's $300 to be exact. 540 00:49:20,603 --> 00:49:25,650 You fucking liar, you gave me $228. 541 00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:29,445 - And finally- - Finish the fucking story already. Jesus. 542 00:49:29,529 --> 00:49:32,198 Your two best friends are still being held hostage... 543 00:49:32,281 --> 00:49:36,202 by the aforementioned insane freaks, in the aforementioned Fun Stop. 544 00:49:36,285 --> 00:49:39,163 You hop over to see the aforementioned mother of your child. 545 00:49:39,247 --> 00:49:42,667 And you happen to discover that she was on the pill! 546 00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,460 She never got pregnant. 547 00:49:44,794 --> 00:49:47,338 She only needed the aforementioned $300... 548 00:49:47,421 --> 00:49:51,133 to buy this cheap-ass, shit-fucking wine, because she's a fucking drunk! 549 00:49:54,804 --> 00:49:57,181 What the fuck are you doing? Give me the gun. 550 00:49:57,264 --> 00:49:58,557 Back off, cowboy! 551 00:49:58,641 --> 00:50:02,061 I can't believe this. Now you're fucking pointing a gun at me. 552 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:04,939 Stand up, honey. Stand up, Sandy! 553 00:50:08,692 --> 00:50:11,195 Sandy, I love you. 554 00:50:19,411 --> 00:50:20,788 You're Spab! 555 00:50:23,999 --> 00:50:25,209 Yeah, well- 556 00:50:26,085 --> 00:50:29,421 No, really, I love you. I've seen all your tapes. 557 00:50:30,506 --> 00:50:34,051 - This is- - No, this is an honor, is what it is. 558 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,470 I'll be honest with you, Cliff. 559 00:50:36,595 --> 00:50:39,014 You and your philosophy, and stuff? 560 00:50:40,015 --> 00:50:42,309 You helped me through some pretty tough times. 561 00:50:42,893 --> 00:50:44,603 I wish you could help him. 562 00:50:44,686 --> 00:50:47,272 Let's get out of here before I puke! 563 00:50:49,358 --> 00:50:52,319 All right. Shine on, little diamond. 564 00:50:54,571 --> 00:50:55,947 Bye, Sandy. 565 00:51:01,036 --> 00:51:02,871 So fucking what? 566 00:51:08,877 --> 00:51:10,503 So fucking what? 567 00:51:14,382 --> 00:51:16,384 Why are we still in here? 568 00:51:17,344 --> 00:51:19,929 How long have we been in here anyway? 569 00:51:21,723 --> 00:51:23,850 You're not gonna tell me. 570 00:51:24,434 --> 00:51:25,685 Fuck you! 571 00:51:29,814 --> 00:51:32,400 You want to shoot somebody? Shoot me. 572 00:51:34,235 --> 00:51:37,822 Go ahead. You got the camera, you got the gun. Do it. 573 00:51:38,489 --> 00:51:40,950 You know, you run out of hostages, you're fucked! 574 00:51:41,034 --> 00:51:42,493 You know that? 575 00:51:42,744 --> 00:51:45,705 You see, that's the difference between you assholes and me. 576 00:51:45,830 --> 00:51:48,166 You're afraid of dying. I'm not. 577 00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:51,210 I'm not afraid to die. 578 00:51:52,086 --> 00:51:53,713 So, fucking do it! 579 00:51:54,756 --> 00:51:58,217 I am fucking daring you to shoot me in the head! 580 00:51:59,135 --> 00:52:00,678 Fucking do it! 581 00:52:00,761 --> 00:52:02,722 You think I give a fuck? 582 00:52:02,763 --> 00:52:05,558 I don't give a fuck! I could give two shits! 583 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,769 Fucking kill me! Shoot me in the fucking head, you fuck! 584 00:52:08,853 --> 00:52:11,689 You sorry-ass, cock-sucking motherfucker! 585 00:52:27,329 --> 00:52:28,581 Fuck you. 586 00:53:23,969 --> 00:53:26,137 Shit, Morrow, come on in. 587 00:53:33,061 --> 00:53:35,105 What did you do now, little brother? 588 00:53:36,272 --> 00:53:38,650 Janet, I'd like you to meet Spab. 589 00:53:39,109 --> 00:53:42,070 - Spab, this is my sister. - No kidding? 590 00:53:43,530 --> 00:53:46,699 Hey, I'm splitting. I've had it with this two-bit town. 591 00:53:47,992 --> 00:53:50,995 I want you to tell her everything. Don't leave nothing out. 592 00:53:51,079 --> 00:53:53,373 Janet here is a goddamn lawyer. 593 00:53:54,666 --> 00:53:57,377 Janet, could you take care of this for me, please? 594 00:54:03,466 --> 00:54:04,968 Hey, guy, remember... 595 00:54:06,469 --> 00:54:09,472 the best you can expect is to avoid the worst. 596 00:54:15,937 --> 00:54:18,689 - Present. - As in, the Spab? 597 00:54:18,773 --> 00:54:20,358 Yeah, afraid so. 598 00:54:27,323 --> 00:54:29,200 Morrow never told me... 599 00:54:30,326 --> 00:54:31,535 he had a sister. 600 00:54:32,787 --> 00:54:34,664 Morrow never told me he had a Spab. 601 00:54:37,666 --> 00:54:40,002 Wendy Pfister, the courageous young woman... 602 00:54:40,086 --> 00:54:41,879 we came to care about so deeply... 603 00:54:41,962 --> 00:54:44,215 has been through more in the last several months... 604 00:54:44,298 --> 00:54:46,717 than most of us will experience in a lifetime. 605 00:54:46,759 --> 00:54:50,888 But through it all she retained her dignity, refusing to be reduced to the level... 606 00:54:50,930 --> 00:54:52,514 of her mysterious captors. 607 00:54:52,598 --> 00:54:54,975 When she emerged from her terrible ordeal... 608 00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:56,727 she found herself strengthened. 609 00:54:56,769 --> 00:55:01,190 She discovered an iron will and a newfound sensitivity to the needs of others. 610 00:55:01,231 --> 00:55:03,942 In short, Wendy Pfister has been transformed... 611 00:55:04,026 --> 00:55:08,072 from a typical American teenager into a genuine American heroine. 612 00:55:09,281 --> 00:55:12,910 Tonight, for the first time, we'll get to spend an hour with Wendy... 613 00:55:12,993 --> 00:55:15,287 in the privacy of her own home. 614 00:55:16,914 --> 00:55:20,417 What about Cliff Spab? What are your impressions of him? 615 00:55:20,500 --> 00:55:22,294 Her hair is terrible. 616 00:55:22,544 --> 00:55:24,421 I think she looks good. 617 00:55:25,130 --> 00:55:26,340 Really? 618 00:55:27,132 --> 00:55:29,926 I've been really careful with what I say about Spab. 619 00:55:29,968 --> 00:55:31,053 Why? 620 00:55:33,722 --> 00:55:35,682 Because people don't understand him. 621 00:55:36,933 --> 00:55:40,645 And you have to know him to really know what he's all about. 622 00:55:40,770 --> 00:55:44,232 Would you like to see Spab again? Could you be friends? 623 00:55:44,858 --> 00:55:47,068 I think we still are friends. 624 00:55:50,363 --> 00:55:52,782 Sure, I'd like to know how he's doing. 625 00:55:53,283 --> 00:55:55,285 You don't spend so much time with someone... 626 00:55:55,368 --> 00:55:58,955 and not find out almost everything about each other's lives. 627 00:56:03,626 --> 00:56:05,295 I really miss him. 628 00:56:09,966 --> 00:56:11,593 He saved my life. 629 00:56:16,347 --> 00:56:18,349 That girl is cracking up. 630 00:56:20,893 --> 00:56:23,813 I personally don't think she's getting very good advice. 631 00:56:23,896 --> 00:56:25,106 Really? 632 00:56:25,773 --> 00:56:28,276 And what advice would you give her? 633 00:56:35,616 --> 00:56:37,118 First of all... 634 00:56:39,495 --> 00:56:41,497 I would tell her to relax. 635 00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:47,336 And then I would advise her... 636 00:56:47,378 --> 00:56:49,005 to have some fun. 637 00:56:52,341 --> 00:56:55,344 And then I would tell her... 638 00:56:56,053 --> 00:57:00,641 to laugh all the way to the bank. 639 00:57:10,776 --> 00:57:12,152 Here it is. 640 00:57:17,241 --> 00:57:20,285 Okay, I'm going to commit a little felony here. 641 00:57:20,786 --> 00:57:23,038 How's your pitching arm, Spab? 642 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,605 Who are you, Clifford Spab? 643 00:57:49,356 --> 00:57:52,984 Just some greasy-ass white boy from the northeast suburbs. 644 00:58:04,621 --> 00:58:05,789 Hello! 645 00:58:24,682 --> 00:58:27,227 It's sure been an interesting night. 646 00:58:27,769 --> 00:58:30,522 The night's still young, and so are you. 647 00:58:33,608 --> 00:58:37,278 If you need a place to lay low, I'll protect your privacy. 648 00:58:38,821 --> 00:58:40,156 Thank you. 649 00:58:41,658 --> 00:58:44,869 But when you're ready, I'll be ready with you. 650 00:58:44,952 --> 00:58:46,412 That's great. 651 00:58:46,913 --> 00:58:48,122 Ready... 652 00:58:48,790 --> 00:58:50,291 Ready for what? 653 00:58:51,334 --> 00:58:54,086 One of these days you'll want to get your life back... 654 00:58:54,170 --> 00:58:57,131 and you may have to sue some people to get it. 655 00:58:58,341 --> 00:59:00,801 They can all just fuck themselves. 656 00:59:02,887 --> 00:59:05,139 We all would like that, Spab... 657 00:59:05,348 --> 00:59:09,143 but experience has taught me that people just don't up and fuck themselves. 658 00:59:10,186 --> 00:59:12,688 They need somebody else to fuck them. 659 00:59:12,772 --> 00:59:16,275 And that's why God created lawyers like me. 660 00:59:17,568 --> 00:59:19,737 And that's why Morrow brought you here. 661 00:59:19,820 --> 00:59:21,280 This was Morrow's idea? 662 00:59:22,031 --> 00:59:25,326 I mean, you guys are gonna split the profits, right? 663 00:59:26,118 --> 00:59:28,829 Actually we will only split 50 percent. 664 00:59:28,871 --> 00:59:31,290 - The other 50 goes to you. - Right. 665 00:59:37,046 --> 00:59:38,797 Where are you going? 666 00:59:39,506 --> 00:59:43,343 Come on, Spab, it's a total spinout. You need to take control. 667 00:59:43,761 --> 00:59:46,054 I'm willing to negotiate. 668 00:59:49,892 --> 00:59:51,602 You little fucker! 669 00:59:55,731 --> 00:59:56,815 Shit. 670 01:00:13,039 --> 01:00:14,499 It is Spab! 671 01:00:16,334 --> 01:00:17,711 Is it Spab? 672 01:00:23,133 --> 01:00:26,052 Fucking Spab! Fucking A, man! 673 01:00:27,053 --> 01:00:29,097 I'll tell you something, Spab. 674 01:00:29,180 --> 01:00:33,184 You sure as hell said some shit that needed fucking said! 675 01:00:33,476 --> 01:00:35,687 - Thank you, Dolly. - We heard that! 676 01:00:35,729 --> 01:00:37,063 Thank you, Earl. 677 01:00:37,147 --> 01:00:41,151 I'm just saying, and this is just me saying it, but I just think... 678 01:00:41,276 --> 01:00:45,530 that you said a whole lot of shit a lot of people in this country think about... 679 01:00:45,572 --> 01:00:48,741 but don't have the fucking guts to say out loud. 680 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:52,954 I'm gonna go even further and say they don't even have the fucking guts... 681 01:00:53,037 --> 01:00:54,664 to think about it. 682 01:00:55,581 --> 01:00:56,958 Heard that! 683 01:00:58,293 --> 01:00:59,794 Give me a hit. 684 01:01:19,230 --> 01:01:22,441 - Thank you, honey. - I want to ask you something, baby. 685 01:01:23,317 --> 01:01:25,903 Did you ever think you were gonna bite it back there? 686 01:01:25,945 --> 01:01:28,989 - Let me put it this way, sweetheart. - I heard that. 687 01:01:29,073 --> 01:01:33,077 What it boils down to is that I'm a survivor. Okay? That's what it is. 688 01:01:33,452 --> 01:01:36,122 Anybody who thinks I'm gonna live fast and die young... 689 01:01:36,163 --> 01:01:38,499 they don't know me now, do they? 690 01:01:44,797 --> 01:01:47,633 We interrupt this program to bring you a special report. 691 01:01:47,716 --> 01:01:48,968 The Madison Heights Police... 692 01:01:49,051 --> 01:01:52,429 have issued an all points bulletin for the arrest of Cliff Spab. 693 01:01:52,513 --> 01:01:57,142 Spab is wanted for assault and battery on a local teenager at the Crestridge Mall. 694 01:01:57,226 --> 01:02:00,646 If you have any information as to Cliff Spab's whereabouts... 695 01:02:00,687 --> 01:02:03,941 please contact the Madison Heights Police Department immediately. 696 01:02:04,274 --> 01:02:05,776 Now back to our regular programs. 697 01:02:05,818 --> 01:02:07,319 Fucking liars! 698 01:02:09,404 --> 01:02:11,949 Don't sweat it, Spab. We got it covered. 699 01:02:12,616 --> 01:02:15,911 There ain't no fucking way they're getting you without a fight, baby. 700 01:02:15,994 --> 01:02:18,455 Let's put the gun down, okay, buddy? 701 01:02:18,538 --> 01:02:21,625 Let's put it over there. We don't need to go this far now. 702 01:02:21,667 --> 01:02:24,795 Spab, forget about it, all right? 703 01:02:25,087 --> 01:02:27,923 You showed us the way. You opened the door. 704 01:02:28,924 --> 01:02:32,052 I say the motherfucking Madison Heights pigs... 705 01:02:32,135 --> 01:02:35,639 shouldn't be allowed to get away with this kind of shit, man. 706 01:02:38,058 --> 01:02:41,144 I say there's no way... 707 01:02:41,561 --> 01:02:45,357 that our Spab should be treated with this kind of disrespect. 708 01:02:46,566 --> 01:02:50,654 Spab, you're a fucking hero. You saved Wendy Pfister's life. 709 01:02:51,571 --> 01:02:55,575 I say fuck kinder-gentler, that's what else I say. 710 01:02:56,284 --> 01:03:00,330 It's payback time in America 711 01:03:00,580 --> 01:03:04,292 God shed his grace on thee 712 01:03:05,376 --> 01:03:09,339 And crown thy good with brotherhood 713 01:03:09,631 --> 01:03:13,092 from sea to shining sea 714 01:03:20,099 --> 01:03:23,811 How the hell is it my fault? You were driving the whole damn time. 715 01:03:23,895 --> 01:03:27,565 Exactly, so why the fuck should I be paying attention... 716 01:03:27,648 --> 01:03:32,361 to shit like that? You're supposed to be the copilot, Earl. 717 01:03:34,447 --> 01:03:39,410 So watching the gas thing is the copilot's responsibility now? 718 01:03:39,619 --> 01:03:41,495 - Yeah, you know it. - Great. 719 01:03:56,010 --> 01:03:58,262 Everyone wanted a piece of me. 720 01:03:58,304 --> 01:04:01,765 The only problem was, there wasn't enough of me to go around. 721 01:04:01,807 --> 01:04:03,767 I guess Janet was right. 722 01:04:03,976 --> 01:04:07,396 I mean, this whole thing was like a circle spinning out of control. 723 01:04:07,479 --> 01:04:10,441 First, you get sucked in, then you get spun out. 724 01:04:10,524 --> 01:04:13,736 I was somewhere between getting sucked and getting spun. 725 01:04:13,902 --> 01:04:16,238 Actually, the whole thing sucked. 726 01:04:16,405 --> 01:04:18,615 If Joe was alive, he'd be laughing his ass off... 727 01:04:18,699 --> 01:04:21,243 and telling everyone to fuck off at the same time. 728 01:04:21,368 --> 01:04:23,162 Joe was never subtle. 729 01:04:23,412 --> 01:04:25,956 Me, I had no idea what I was gonna do. 730 01:04:26,039 --> 01:04:29,793 What I knew for sure was that road trips aren't all they're cracked up to be. 731 01:04:37,009 --> 01:04:39,303 - Hi there. - How may I help you? 732 01:04:40,262 --> 01:04:42,764 Pamela, I'd like a room. 733 01:04:48,687 --> 01:04:51,648 The only thing available tonight is a suite. 734 01:04:51,773 --> 01:04:53,859 Fine, that'll be just fine. 735 01:04:54,526 --> 01:04:56,570 All right. And your name? 736 01:04:58,655 --> 01:04:59,906 Robert Plant. 737 01:05:02,951 --> 01:05:06,162 Hi there. Cliff Spab for Bayer Aspirin. 738 01:05:06,746 --> 01:05:09,749 Wendy Pfister, which do you think Joe Dice will prefer. ' 739 01:05:09,833 --> 01:05:12,877 microwave stuffing, or your potatoes Iyonnaise? 740 01:05:13,044 --> 01:05:17,507 Joe would definitely prefer the potatoes Iyonnaise. They're his favorite. 741 01:05:19,509 --> 01:05:22,095 Well then, Joe, which is it gonna be? 742 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:25,056 Wait, what are my choices again? 743 01:05:25,515 --> 01:05:28,977 - Wendy's stuffing... - Or Wendy's potatoes Iyonnaise. 744 01:05:30,186 --> 01:05:32,855 I definitely prefer Wendy's... 745 01:05:34,983 --> 01:05:39,153 Joe Dice, a man so mean he shot a guy for snoring too loud. 746 01:05:42,657 --> 01:05:46,202 Hi there! Do you know me? I like shopping so much... 747 01:05:46,410 --> 01:05:49,497 I've been in the same... store, for Christ knows how long? 748 01:05:49,580 --> 01:05:52,416 That's why I carry the American Express card. 749 01:05:52,542 --> 01:05:55,753 If you go shopping in Madison Heights, don't forget your Visa card... 750 01:05:55,836 --> 01:05:58,214 and don't forget your ammunition. 751 01:06:00,383 --> 01:06:03,344 I got one more thing to say. Remember this. ' 752 01:06:06,597 --> 01:06:09,725 I'm not a hostage. I just play one on TV. 753 01:06:10,392 --> 01:06:13,521 Atta boy! That's Remington! 754 01:06:31,997 --> 01:06:34,416 - ... coming from. - What kind of signal is it? 755 01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,543 - Is it music? - Don't know that yet. 756 01:06:36,627 --> 01:06:38,295 So damn what? 757 01:06:38,378 --> 01:06:41,799 Held hostage in a convenience store for 36 days. 758 01:06:42,174 --> 01:06:43,967 So what's the point of talking? 759 01:06:44,051 --> 01:06:46,845 Yeah, you said it. So damn what? 760 01:06:46,929 --> 01:06:48,263 He was black. 761 01:06:48,430 --> 01:06:49,514 So damn what? 762 01:06:49,598 --> 01:06:50,807 She was white. 763 01:06:50,891 --> 01:06:53,101 It has a totally cool sound to it, Cliff. 764 01:06:53,143 --> 01:06:55,896 They were as different as night and day. 765 01:06:56,229 --> 01:06:58,982 Everybody out there in TV land, say it with me... 766 01:06:59,399 --> 01:07:01,276 So damn what? 767 01:07:01,943 --> 01:07:03,445 You say it, Wendy. 768 01:07:03,737 --> 01:07:05,155 So damn what? 769 01:07:05,238 --> 01:07:08,116 Gary Coleman and Dori Smelling star in... 770 01:07:08,366 --> 01:07:10,118 So Damn What. 771 01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,662 The television event of the decade. 772 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,791 You're at Comedy Central. 773 01:07:28,178 --> 01:07:31,181 Okay, he's standing way up in this building... 774 01:07:32,182 --> 01:07:35,602 and he shot himself right smack in the head. 775 01:07:39,314 --> 01:07:42,150 And he fell right into this parking lot... 776 01:07:43,193 --> 01:07:44,611 like, crunch! 777 01:07:49,407 --> 01:07:52,827 His final words, I ain't never gonna forget them, goes. ' 778 01:07:53,536 --> 01:07:55,747 "So... what?" 779 01:07:57,248 --> 01:07:58,499 I mean... 780 01:07:58,916 --> 01:08:02,712 the thought of that just sends chills right down to my spine. 781 01:08:03,463 --> 01:08:06,507 Okay, now, this is still an unconfirmed report. 782 01:08:07,466 --> 01:08:10,052 Authorities in Madison Heights have reason to believe... 783 01:08:10,136 --> 01:08:14,473 that the body recovered earlier this evening, in a motel parking lot... 784 01:08:14,599 --> 01:08:16,809 is indeed that of Cliff Spab. 785 01:08:16,976 --> 01:08:19,854 An apparent suicide at the age of 20. 786 01:08:21,022 --> 01:08:22,440 We'll all miss you, Cliff. 787 01:08:37,705 --> 01:08:39,707 TVM. How may I direct your call? 788 01:08:39,874 --> 01:08:41,125 Hi there. 789 01:08:42,668 --> 01:08:46,088 Got a hot news scoop for you. Let me talk to somebody. 790 01:08:46,255 --> 01:08:48,007 One moment, please. 791 01:08:54,346 --> 01:08:56,723 TVM news desk, can I help you? 792 01:08:57,850 --> 01:09:00,561 Yeah. Cliff Spab ain't dead. 793 01:09:01,770 --> 01:09:04,231 He's alive and well, and I can prove it. 794 01:09:04,314 --> 01:09:06,733 Are you talking about the Cliff Spab? 795 01:09:07,818 --> 01:09:09,027 Really? 796 01:09:09,403 --> 01:09:10,737 Yeah, that's right. 797 01:09:10,821 --> 01:09:13,073 Would he like to appear on TVM? 798 01:09:13,115 --> 01:09:14,199 Yeah. 799 01:10:26,395 --> 01:10:28,231 Hi. Cliff Spab here. 800 01:10:28,481 --> 01:10:31,192 I'm not a VJ. I just play one on TVM. 801 01:10:34,612 --> 01:10:35,863 Hi there. 802 01:10:36,364 --> 01:10:38,824 I want to take you over to the couch. 803 01:10:38,908 --> 01:10:43,079 These are a couple of dear friends of mine. Over here is Peggy, Grace... 804 01:10:43,162 --> 01:10:46,123 and Dottie over there. Let's wave to the camera, girls. 805 01:10:47,124 --> 01:10:50,961 So when you get down to it, you know, when they first asked me... 806 01:10:51,003 --> 01:10:53,714 to be a guest VJ here on TVM... 807 01:10:53,839 --> 01:10:55,841 they said I could talk about anything. 808 01:10:55,925 --> 01:10:59,595 As long as I didn't use words like... 809 01:10:59,678 --> 01:11:03,057 Especially not words like mother... So I made a promise to them... 810 01:11:03,140 --> 01:11:07,644 not to use words like... And especially words like mother... 811 01:11:10,022 --> 01:11:12,941 So I decided to play my 10 most favorite videos... 812 01:11:13,025 --> 01:11:16,987 where they either sing about ... show... or use... in the title. 813 01:11:19,740 --> 01:11:22,659 "So... what?" The clip you just saw is based... 814 01:11:22,701 --> 01:11:26,163 I do believe, on the personal experiences of yours truly. 815 01:11:26,204 --> 01:11:28,832 But before we go to that next clip... 816 01:11:29,207 --> 01:11:31,293 See you in a minute, girls. 817 01:11:32,544 --> 01:11:36,173 I'd like to share something kind of special with you all. 818 01:11:37,299 --> 01:11:42,095 I'd like to dedicate this to a close friend who I haven't seen in way too long. 819 01:11:43,597 --> 01:11:45,807 Wendy, if you're out there... 820 01:11:47,476 --> 01:11:49,227 this Bull's for you. 821 01:12:14,377 --> 01:12:16,379 All right. Shut the fuck up! 822 01:12:21,259 --> 01:12:23,803 Time out, guys. 823 01:12:23,886 --> 01:12:28,016 Look, everybody keep quiet, so you can hear what Spab has to say. 824 01:12:29,684 --> 01:12:32,812 Okay, Spab is ready for your questions. 825 01:12:36,274 --> 01:12:39,527 Mr. Spab, how do you explain the behavior on those tapes? 826 01:12:39,610 --> 01:12:42,947 And why do you suppose that Split Image made those tapes? 827 01:12:43,156 --> 01:12:47,201 I don't know. I never figured out what the pantyhose guys wanted. 828 01:12:47,285 --> 01:12:50,913 I guess they were just bored shitless, like the rest of us. 829 01:12:51,289 --> 01:12:53,416 Maybe they were trying to get through it. 830 01:12:53,499 --> 01:12:56,043 They didn't know the fucking world was watching. 831 01:12:57,169 --> 01:12:58,713 Could you describe for us... 832 01:12:58,796 --> 01:13:02,299 the situation that led to your escape from the Fun Stop? 833 01:13:02,883 --> 01:13:04,718 Yeah, we ran out of beer. 834 01:13:07,471 --> 01:13:09,098 Liked that one? 835 01:13:10,724 --> 01:13:13,352 Do you consider yourself an alcoholic? 836 01:13:13,769 --> 01:13:17,690 I don't have to consider myself nothing, with all you reporters doing it for me. 837 01:13:19,191 --> 01:13:22,361 Exactly what is it that you're rebelling against? 838 01:13:23,112 --> 01:13:25,197 That depends, what you got? 839 01:13:29,076 --> 01:13:32,871 I would like to know why you can't be a little more serious in your answers? 840 01:13:32,955 --> 01:13:37,459 Look, this is the way I am, okay? Don't be taking me so fucking seriously. 841 01:13:37,793 --> 01:13:40,629 Mr. Spab, what can you say about Joe Dice? 842 01:13:41,421 --> 01:13:44,633 There's nothing to say about Joe, is there? He's gone. 843 01:13:46,134 --> 01:13:47,511 I miss him. 844 01:13:48,679 --> 01:13:51,390 Will he care that I'm wearing a "Free Cliff Spab" shirt? 845 01:13:51,473 --> 01:13:54,476 He'll love it. You look great. He'll be glad to see you. 846 01:13:56,812 --> 01:13:59,981 - How you doing, bro? - Look at that big bottle of beer you got. 847 01:14:00,023 --> 01:14:03,401 I'm a big guy. Kristen, this is Clifford. Clifford, Kristen. 848 01:14:04,611 --> 01:14:06,738 - Let's go. - Nice to meet you. 849 01:14:10,700 --> 01:14:12,577 How's everybody doing? 850 01:14:14,162 --> 01:14:16,289 I knew that dead guy wasn't you. Didn't I say? 851 01:14:16,373 --> 01:14:17,457 It's too bad though. 852 01:14:17,540 --> 01:14:21,169 Your school papers and shit would've gone for twice the fucking cash. 853 01:14:21,211 --> 01:14:24,339 - Excuse me, you're Cliff Spab. - Yeah, that's right. 854 01:14:24,381 --> 01:14:28,218 - He ain't Patty Hearst, buddy. - He saved Wendy Pfister's life. 855 01:14:28,968 --> 01:14:33,223 - We saw it. That was something. - Who do I have the pleasure of meeting? 856 01:14:33,932 --> 01:14:37,894 I'm Phll Connors and this is my wife, Rita. 857 01:14:38,061 --> 01:14:40,188 - Hi, Rita. - Hi, how nice to meet you. 858 01:14:40,897 --> 01:14:43,483 What do you say we take these guys hostage with us? 859 01:14:43,900 --> 01:14:47,070 Come on, Phll, Rita, come party with us! 860 01:14:47,862 --> 01:14:50,365 We're supposed to meet some people. 861 01:14:51,407 --> 01:14:52,700 What do you say, Rita? 862 01:14:57,872 --> 01:14:59,457 So fucking what! 863 01:15:02,168 --> 01:15:06,214 - Let's party! Come on, Phll! - Party down! 864 01:15:06,756 --> 01:15:08,382 Yeah, here it is. 865 01:15:09,216 --> 01:15:10,426 This is class. 866 01:15:10,468 --> 01:15:13,054 - This is great. What'd I tell you? - Yeah. 867 01:15:14,722 --> 01:15:15,639 Over here. 868 01:15:17,224 --> 01:15:19,101 Cliff, does this go in the bathtub? 869 01:15:19,185 --> 01:15:22,062 - The beer ball goes at the bar, right there. - We got a bar? 870 01:15:22,104 --> 01:15:24,940 - Tell Spab about the concert. - What concert is that? 871 01:15:24,982 --> 01:15:28,068 Want to see Spiral Jet, Friday? They want you to introduce them. 872 01:15:28,110 --> 01:15:29,236 I do! 873 01:15:30,738 --> 01:15:31,822 Where are you? 874 01:15:31,906 --> 01:15:34,575 How about a beer? You want a Bullseye or a Heineken? 875 01:15:34,617 --> 01:15:37,036 - Heineken. - You look like a Heineken kind of girl. 876 01:15:37,119 --> 01:15:39,538 - I hope that's good. - That is good. 877 01:15:39,997 --> 01:15:41,290 - You want a beer? - No. 878 01:15:41,373 --> 01:15:42,416 Come on. 879 01:15:42,458 --> 01:15:45,127 Kris in there is your biggest fan. 880 01:15:45,210 --> 01:15:47,588 But it's not like I want to fuck you or anything. 881 01:15:47,629 --> 01:15:49,256 I think we should go. 882 01:15:49,298 --> 01:15:53,135 Sweetheart, let's just stay a little longer. You got to live to learn, Phll. 883 01:15:53,218 --> 01:15:55,137 You got to live to learn. You said that. 884 01:15:55,179 --> 01:15:57,556 Being your brother made me popular with the ladies. 885 01:15:57,639 --> 01:16:00,601 That's great, Scott. I'm glad it's finally working for you. 886 01:16:00,934 --> 01:16:04,771 I just want to hang around, you know, hear what you gotta say. 887 01:16:06,815 --> 01:16:08,692 I don't know shit. 888 01:16:11,737 --> 01:16:14,656 See, that is so Spab. 889 01:16:16,032 --> 01:16:18,994 - That is Spab. - That is Spab, you're right. 890 01:16:23,081 --> 01:16:27,252 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cliff Spab. 891 01:16:34,718 --> 01:16:36,052 Thank you! 892 01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:35,640 Hey, Wendy. 893 01:21:42,146 --> 01:21:43,439 Hi, Spab. 894 01:22:34,740 --> 01:22:35,783 This is it. 895 01:22:37,534 --> 01:22:39,828 Where are you supposed to go buy a beer now? 896 01:22:39,870 --> 01:22:43,707 I heard they want to tear this down and turn this place into a memorial park. 897 01:22:47,211 --> 01:22:48,545 Goddamn it! 898 01:22:51,548 --> 01:22:54,468 Is that what it all boils down to? A fucking memorial park? 899 01:22:55,385 --> 01:22:57,179 That's one way to live forever. 900 01:22:57,888 --> 01:23:01,350 I'd like to live forever, but only for a little while. 901 01:23:05,562 --> 01:23:07,773 Spab, you are so full of shit. 902 01:23:08,857 --> 01:23:12,027 You know, you try to come off as just some guy... 903 01:23:12,652 --> 01:23:14,237 but you're not just some guy. 904 01:23:16,072 --> 01:23:18,200 - You've got a message. - Yeah? 905 01:23:19,534 --> 01:23:21,203 What's my message? 906 01:23:23,413 --> 01:23:26,249 Your message is that there is no message. 907 01:23:27,208 --> 01:23:29,169 Nothing really matters. 908 01:23:30,837 --> 01:23:33,256 The message is: "So Fucking What." 909 01:23:34,841 --> 01:23:37,260 You keep saying it, but nobody really hears you. 910 01:23:42,098 --> 01:23:44,601 I'm sorry to break the bad news to you. 911 01:23:47,103 --> 01:23:48,730 I'm full of shit. 912 01:23:54,485 --> 01:23:57,989 There are plenty of things that matter to me in this world. 913 01:23:58,072 --> 01:23:59,657 Yeah, like what? 914 01:24:04,287 --> 01:24:05,580 Like you. 915 01:24:17,967 --> 01:24:20,678 There's something I keep thinking about. 916 01:24:25,808 --> 01:24:30,312 Maybe even trying to explain what happened in the store is just pointless. 917 01:24:33,482 --> 01:24:37,153 I mean, how do you explain something like that to somebody? 918 01:24:38,279 --> 01:24:39,613 You can't. 919 01:24:43,867 --> 01:24:45,494 There is one way. 920 01:24:47,037 --> 01:24:49,873 You could lock them in a room for 36 days. 921 01:24:51,166 --> 01:24:53,252 They might understand then. 922 01:24:59,675 --> 01:25:01,552 You have to let them... 923 01:25:02,594 --> 01:25:04,471 watch some people die. 924 01:25:18,026 --> 01:25:19,277 Fuck it. 925 01:25:23,198 --> 01:25:25,033 Let's face it, Spab... 926 01:25:27,285 --> 01:25:29,704 we have this little understanding. 927 01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:35,836 Nobody else knows what it's all about. 928 01:25:39,047 --> 01:25:40,799 It's like a disease. 929 01:25:44,970 --> 01:25:46,972 Madison Heights Syndrome. 930 01:25:53,937 --> 01:25:55,730 If you don't have it... 931 01:25:57,732 --> 01:25:59,859 you can never understand it. 932 01:26:08,368 --> 01:26:12,038 Let's not even bother trying to explain it to anybody else. 933 01:26:15,333 --> 01:26:19,921 - If you weren't in that store with us- - You can shut the fuck up right now. 934 01:26:33,351 --> 01:26:36,896 Maybe Spab thought things would be the same way they always were. 935 01:26:36,979 --> 01:26:39,106 I know I thought once I got out of there... 936 01:26:39,190 --> 01:26:42,777 I'd just be going back to Ozell Park High on Monday morning. 937 01:26:42,860 --> 01:26:46,989 Things have just been really weird since getting out of that store. 938 01:26:47,448 --> 01:26:50,326 If you think about it enough, you can go nuts. 939 01:26:50,409 --> 01:26:52,787 That's one of Spab's favorite lines, by the way. 940 01:26:57,791 --> 01:27:02,004 Anyway, I guess I've talked enough, so it's time to meet the guy... 941 01:27:02,087 --> 01:27:06,425 that made all this possible, Mr. "So Fucking What" himself, Cliff Spab. 942 01:27:16,185 --> 01:27:17,519 Thank you. 943 01:27:17,978 --> 01:27:19,396 So fucking what! 944 01:27:30,991 --> 01:27:34,328 Standing out there on the stage of Madison Heights High... 945 01:27:34,369 --> 01:27:38,415 I was suddenly knocked on my ass with this strange sort of feeling. 946 01:27:38,498 --> 01:27:42,252 It wasn't just the cheering. I wasn't really sure what it was. 947 01:27:42,335 --> 01:27:44,004 I just stood there looking stupid... 948 01:27:44,087 --> 01:27:47,507 for what seemed like a long time trying to figure it all out. 949 01:27:47,549 --> 01:27:51,887 There was nothing I could do, except wait for the chanting to die down. 950 01:27:52,637 --> 01:27:55,473 But the noise only grew louder and louder. 951 01:28:43,563 --> 01:28:45,273 Everything matters! 952 01:28:50,903 --> 01:28:54,198 Wendy Pfister and Cliff Spab were shot this morning... 953 01:28:54,240 --> 01:28:56,867 at a Madison Heights High School assembly. 954 01:28:56,909 --> 01:28:59,996 Witnesses say Spab had just stepped up to the microphone... 955 01:29:00,079 --> 01:29:03,958 when three shots rang out. Pfister was standing nearby. 956 01:29:04,417 --> 01:29:08,129 After witnessing the shooting, hundreds of grief-stricken students... 957 01:29:08,212 --> 01:29:12,466 refused to return to class, leaving the campus a virtual ghost town. 958 01:29:12,550 --> 01:29:15,219 Madison Heights High School senior, Barbara B. Wyler... 959 01:29:15,427 --> 01:29:17,263 was arraigned in court today... 960 01:29:17,304 --> 01:29:20,641 in connection with the shooting of Wendy Pfister and Cliff Spab... 961 01:29:21,725 --> 01:29:24,061 Why did you fire the first shot? 962 01:29:26,772 --> 01:29:29,108 Are you a friend of Cliff Spab? 963 01:29:33,362 --> 01:29:37,699 Babs Wyler was a perpetrator of violence and a dangerous reactionary. 964 01:29:39,326 --> 01:29:41,829 The American people rest assured... 965 01:29:41,995 --> 01:29:44,122 that all the resources of this office... 966 01:29:44,206 --> 01:29:47,084 will be used to make sure that Babs Wyler... 967 01:29:47,125 --> 01:29:51,171 ...the National Scholastic Merit award for her essay, "Everything Matters". 968 01:29:51,797 --> 01:29:56,134 It's about a new generation of youngsters, who take total responsibility... 969 01:29:56,176 --> 01:29:59,137 for everything they say, do and feel. 970 01:29:59,846 --> 01:30:01,932 This is about the First Amendment. 971 01:30:02,015 --> 01:30:05,185 What Babs did was an act of symbolic free speech. 972 01:30:05,268 --> 01:30:09,731 The issue here is whether you should punish a brilliant, gifted young woman... 973 01:30:09,815 --> 01:30:13,902 for bringing the message of responsibility, hope and optimism to the world. 974 01:30:14,486 --> 01:30:15,779 I don't think so. 975 01:30:15,946 --> 01:30:20,825 ...where dozens of protesters are staging an all-night vigil... 976 01:30:21,284 --> 01:30:25,622 ...we have watched with fascination, a straight-A student, Barbara "Babs" 'Wyler... 977 01:30:25,747 --> 01:30:27,999 an anything-but-ordinary young American... 978 01:30:28,083 --> 01:30:30,835 has been catapulted from suburban obscurity... 979 01:30:30,877 --> 01:30:32,378 to international fame. 980 01:30:32,462 --> 01:30:35,965 Tonight, in a live interview from Madison Heights County Jail... 981 01:30:36,007 --> 01:30:39,636 we will learn all about Babs' philosophy for a new age. ' 982 01:30:39,761 --> 01:30:42,430 a philosophy in which everything matters. 983 01:30:42,513 --> 01:30:45,141 Those are the words of Barbara "Babs" Wyler... 984 01:30:45,183 --> 01:30:48,478 the courageous young woman we have come to care about so deeply. 985 01:30:48,519 --> 01:30:50,897 Babs has been through more in the past few weeks... 986 01:30:50,980 --> 01:30:53,358 than most of us will experience in a lifetime. 987 01:30:53,399 --> 01:30:55,526 But she has retained her dignity... 988 01:30:55,610 --> 01:30:58,362 refusing to be reduced to the level of her detractors. 989 01:30:58,446 --> 01:31:02,658 When she emerged from her terrible ordeal, she found herself strengthened... 990 01:31:02,700 --> 01:31:05,036 and her "Everything Matters" philosophy intact. 991 01:31:05,077 --> 01:31:07,914 In short, Babs Wyler has been transformed... 992 01:31:07,997 --> 01:31:12,376 from a typical American teenager into an atypical American phenomenon. 993 01:31:12,752 --> 01:31:16,505 Tonight, for the first time, we'll get to spend an hour with Babs... 994 01:31:16,547 --> 01:31:18,841 in the privacy of her own home. 995 01:31:19,675 --> 01:31:22,053 Babs, what are your impressions of Cliff Spab? 996 01:31:24,555 --> 01:31:27,975 I must be very careful of what I say about Cliff Spab. 997 01:31:28,392 --> 01:31:30,978 - But why? - Because- 998 01:31:39,194 --> 01:31:40,863 - Hey, Wendy. - Spab. 999 01:31:46,201 --> 01:31:49,288 - How about another beer? - How about a bag of gumnuts? 1000 01:31:49,580 --> 01:31:51,165 How about a stale burrito? 1001 01:31:51,248 --> 01:31:54,501 How about some 3-in-1 Oil for your folding chair? 1002 01:31:54,793 --> 01:31:57,004 How about a bath in the sink? 1003 01:31:57,504 --> 01:31:59,173 How about a song? 1004 01:32:06,513 --> 01:32:08,473 Are we getting married or what? 1005 01:32:10,100 --> 01:32:12,311 Hey, guy, you fucking know it.